absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
