Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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