I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
