I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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