New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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