how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
