My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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