I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
