just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
