If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
