OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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