She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
