so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
