I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
