i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
