i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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