found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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