remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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