Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
