Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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