It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
