he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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