Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
