I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
