how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
