the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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