im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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