You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
