Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
