We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
