'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
