i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
