Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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