is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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