Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize