Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
