Well apparently he's into motor boating.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
