What a fucking waste of an outfit
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
