We're facebook friends in real life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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