Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize