somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
