Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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