you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
