A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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