You made me cry and you don't even care
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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