On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
