But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and she was petting her beer can
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize