Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
