you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
