I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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