Your dad touched me again.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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