Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
