make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Are we still banned from the library?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
