i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
