I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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