I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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