I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
