we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
