she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
